What a time we're living in. The BBC stitches up the Queen and commercial TV networks rip the piss out of the viewers who pay for their expense accounts. Everyone has more fake than real friends these days, thanks to Fakebook, sorry Facebook, and we're even embroiled in a disastrous war thanks to a fake dossier, copied from students on the net. And now we find even marmot relationships aren't real. A compelling scientific study has revealed that young marmots tend to grow up stronger or more successful if they're fathered by their mother's bit-on-the-side, rather than the poor, unaware mate with whom they play happy families. So what are we worried about? Surely if cheating is best for the marmots, its best for us. Even the Queen.